DINGJAM 3

Here lies all the scenes from DINGJAM 3.

Improvception

- Bee hunting

- President needing to address the nation about Kim Jung Un declaring war

- Daredevil jumping 2 people

- Cubs camping - 3 in a tent

- Triple homicide - killer flattering the detective trying to make him another victim

Lawyer and Guilty Client with Blunderbuss

Spy held in the Gulag

Lidl Cranberry Juice Affair

Sunflower in a Desert

Tulip Planet Alpha 9

The Mollusc and the Dying Tulip

Van Gogh Painting

Beavers with Ideas

Evil Cricket Umpires

Shy Parrot Trainers

Obsessive Pervy Gynaecologists

Miserable Postal Workers

Horrified Mad Scientists

Daddy's Hairless Lion Story and Bunsen Burner

Didn’t Say Anything About Lions or Tigers in the Leaflet.

Gaoler Painter

Wounded Soldiers on the Street

Scientist's Back Massage

Twix False Leg for Golfing

Motorcycle Monologue

Brighton’s Hells Angels

Brighton's Gingers

Stickers on the Car

Coupons for Mouse Mats, Mugs or Customised Pens.

Judges Baz and Gerry

The Hedgehog and the Mermaids [unbeknownst to me, somebody was scribing this word-at-a-time story down so we have the pleasure of hearing it again]...

"Roderick the hedgehog enjoyed swimming.He loved the feeling of the water in his spines. One day he was swimming in the lake when he encountered a fishy sort of thing. It was a mermaid! Roderick was astonished and immediately asked the mermaid how she became one, because he had always wanted to be one! She said "I have a tail and fishy head which smells of camomile." Roderick thought about it for a long time but he didn’t understand how this helped him. The mermaid got very angry and said you shall never become a mermaid because I’m a mermaid killer! Roderick was fine because he was not devastated or a coward but he addressed the mermaid like a friend “Hello mermaid. Can I please have a fishy smell?” “No,” said the mermaid "but you can have the tail and the head and the camomile so in fact you could become a mermaid." "That sounds brilliant!" said Roderick. The mermaid smiled and shot Roderick. Roderick died slowly and painfully.

- The moral of the story is never try to become a mermaid if you aren’t 100% sure!"

Love in the Library